before Zeus, there was bophades.

Bophades was the son of Eurythmia, a mortal, and Nutrios, the god of snacks and banter. Born with extraordinary strength and a sharp wit, Bophades was destined for greatness—or so the Oracle of Delphinius claimed.

To protect him from harm, his mother dipped him into the River Styx, holding him by his nuts (his toes were too slippery). The divine waters rendered him nearly invincible, but alas, his "nuts" remained untouched by the magic, leaving them tragically mortal.

Despite this small vulnerability, Bophades rose to fame in the Greek world. Known for his ingenious ability to crack riddles and deliver biting comebacks, he was celebrated as the god of clever retorts and strategic silence.

His legendary phrase, "Let my silence speak louder than your words," became a rallying cry for thinkers everywhere.

However, Bophades’ story takes a tragic turn during the Great Banter Games of Olympus, where heroes competed in a battle of wits and snacks. During a particularly intense verbal duel with Persephone, Bophades sat on a sharp pebble, letting out an involuntary squeak that revealed his one weakness.

Seeing his reaction, Persephone launched a ruthless pun attack that targeted his "nuts" directly. The mortifying blow left him speechless—a fate worse than death for the quick-tongued hero.

Legends say Bophades now watches over mortals, guiding them in moments of clever wordplay, but warns them of the dangers of overconfidence. His story is a reminder: even the sharpest minds (and hardest shells) have their weak spots.